Decisions

I think I've decided that I don't want to play this game anymore. I call it a game, because I don't know what else to say of it. I put myself in to it against my better judgement. Against every little voice in my head and even from those around me saying to stay away. To leave it be. I couldn't do that though. I had to see what was there. But I can't keep doing this. I can't keep second guessing myself and even my own paranoia. How bad must it be when you do that? I can't keep fighting myself on what I want, what I feel, what I need and all the conflicts against each. Especially when I only have half the battle to fight.