Dream

Last nights dream had me freaking out, because I was pregnant. The dream started out in one place that I can't quite remember. I recall sand and water and fighting, but the most of what I remember was inside a building/house. It seemed like it was worlds away from the other place and that I was hiding. There were a couple of adorable little puppies. The third was really scared of me and ran away when I tried petting it. The other two were vying for my attention. Eventually they fell asleep o.O in a paper bag for whatever reason. After that I got up and was going to go lay down. My mom was there. There's some blanks here. Someone was sweeping out a large store closet. My mom was there. She was the one talking to me about being pregnant and needing to decide what to do. I kept thinking about how much easier life would be if I didn't have the baby and about the people I knew and then about wanting to keep the baby because it was mine and I wanted to know how it would feel to hold it in my arms. I ended up on a kitchen floor crying to myself.

Uncertain

There are so many things one can say to ensnare another's heart. So many lies spoken in moments of desire and need. So many ways to turn love to hate. It all starts with a thought. A promise. An idea of something more that eventually deteriorates into less than what was hoped for. Hushed words spoken to longing hearts about a life of forever, but forever doesn't always exist in a world full of uncertainty.

Love Again

I'm not sure I know how to love anymore.
-It's okay. I'll show you.
Is that even possible?
-Do you want to find out?
Yes, actually, I think I do.
-C'mon then.. Just don't let go before it's over.
I don't know if I'm that strong.
-None of us do. That's why all we can do is hold on and hope the person we're with doesn't let us fall.
Are you going to let me fall?
-I'm going to do my best not to.

Distrust

For years all I've heard from people is that somebody is saying this or that behind my back and that this person isn't really my friend or that person is using me or lying to me.. and then I hear from people who are supposedly friends that I'm selfish, neglectful, inconsiderate. I never really let it get to me, because I figured it didn't matter as long as I could try and help them, because everyone needs a friend, right? But now, I'm just too tired of acting like it doesn't matter, because it does. It hurts. And now I just don't trust anyone. I don't want them near me. I don't want them knowing me or trying to learn about me. It's all stuff they can just use against me.

Tiger

I had a dream with lots of dogs in it last night and some cats. I remember the cats and the dogs who lived with me ended up befriending some strays who they wanted to keep with them. They ended up staying on the roof because the strays didn't want to sleep inside. One of the dogs was missing though so I went to find him. It led me to the middle of nowhere train tracks crossroads area. There was a lady here who owned a bunch of dogs. They were actually very vicious, but whenever one would growl at me I'd say hi and it would stop. She was sitting next to one dog that was in a cage. She told me I was good with dogs and I told her so was she. Then the caged dog attacked a couple puppies who had ended up against the fence thing. One disappeared and I scooped up the other asking why she let them do that. She said, why not? I decided to keep up the pup and asked what name to give it. I could actually talk to the animal telepathicly. The first name it gave I laughed and said no, but it ended up with his heart set on Tiger for some reason. He was all striped and a beige like orange. I couldn't take him home though, but I said I would come back to visit. The woman asked if I was going to the other side of the tracks and I said no. She said good, that her brother lived on the other side and he was a cruel person. I went back in the direction I came but I soon got lost and ended up in someone's yard. He started following me around and said he'd lift me over the fence. I got a strong creep vibe from him so i kept declining and got out of there real fast. I ran into another guy there who was just as creepy only more forceful he tried to hang on to me and what not so I ended up screaming for the woman. He asked what she was going to do, sick her pooches on him. The end of the dream ended up with people on my side attacking the small group of houses. It was all war like.