Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to say I love you. I wonder what would you do? I've already received your devotion; tch, how false. Your own love; no, no, lets not lie that much. Your attention; heh, impossible to keep. I read back on the things you said and now I wonder what of it is left in truth and what of it was forgotten in lies. You were mine, because I knew your heart, but you let it change without telling me. Now you act like all those others who spew out words, trying to weave elaborate stories of fiction as if that will somehow alleviate you of some guilt. You make excuses for your stories, saying this or that to cover your lies as best you can. You're like a child trying to hide your mess under the bed, but I see so clearly what's really there. You're tripping over your own make believe and turn a blind eye when it's shown to be so clearly under your feet; ignoring the issues that are actually there, but addressing the ones that do not matter as if that will divert attention. My darling boy, you are but a liar who should have his tongue cut from his mouth the way you've cut my trust of you from my heart.
It's not that I cared you took another into your embrace. No, sharing has never been my problem, but you're lying to me now and when I sought the truth you took half measures with the information you gave and then when you had satisfied what I needed to know you assumed that was the end of it, but I had to check on you, of course. It seemed to end so badly for you, how could I not worry over your heart? Taking care of the things that belong to me, that's not even a question. It's just something that is done. I was hopeful in thinking that we had grown past your error, but I discovered yet more half truths and withheld knowledge. You are no expert in deceit and I fear I must tell you, you have failed miserably, but even worse than that you have removed my romanticized vision of you and allowed me to see the despicable beast you've allowed yourself to become. No longer do I desire to own you as you do not deserve to be mine and considering I believe everything should belong to me, that's quite the feat to be unwanted.
Do you think I'm being unfair? I assume you might, but then I also can hear your voice in my ear saying that I'm right and a myriad of excuses as to why you're such a horrid person and that you had to lie, because you feared harming my feelings or somehow disappointing me. I can't help, but be curious as to how you thought this path you've chosen would prevent those things from happening? I never took you for a fool, but that is another thing about you that I obviously need to reconsider. Am I being to harsh? It's hard to tell. I personally think I'm curbing my tongue quite well, but I digress. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the fact that I will no longer be referring to you as mine as you are not worthy of such a thing and although I feel that it would be in my interest as a lady to give you well wishes and hopes for your happiness, I personally feel bitterly betrayed and hope your genitalia fall off so that you may live out your life as a eunuch.
All the worst, Leandra.
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