Letters To A Friend 6

So, my sister is in surgery right now. The doctors are trying to stop the bleeding. It was unclear if they know what is wrong or not. They did say that they believed she was having twins, but one of them passed. Now I'm just waiting for my mom to call to hear what happens next. I don't really know how I feel on the matter. I'm pretty shielded from most things. It's like a block or something goes up in my brain that just stops me from.. I don't really want to say caring, but it's the closes thing I can think to it. I mean, in a way I guess I'm sad for the baby that died, but at the same time I really don't think that my sister needs another kid. Although, this pregnancy was for my uncle, not sure if he'd have taken them both either way.. I don't really think the kid would have had a stable and secure life.. I guess I find it cruel to bring someone into the world, but at the same time who is anyone to decide that someone else shouldn't have the chance to live? It can be a wonderful place, can't it? I mean, well, everything's pretty double sided. Sometimes the most wonderful thing is just to feel the warmth of the sun beating down on you and at the same time, it can become one of the worst feelings. There's a lot of things in life that makes a person not want to be around at times. It's hard to hold onto the good things. They always seem so fleeting in comparison to the misery that enters our lives, but it just seems that people focus on the things they dislike more than what they don't. I wonder why that is. Hm.. I guess I'm just indifferent and I think I'd rather remain that way right now. The alternative doesn't seem all that grand.