I still couldn't say all the things you mean to me. My words aren't so good anymore and I don't mean a lot of what I do. When I'm yelling and trying to fight, it's just anger with no where to go. I never wanted to lose you, but I think we're only holding by a thread. How much abuse can one person really take? How many apologies can be accepted before there's none left to give? How far can you push until you've pushed too far? How long can you be okay until you just aren't anymore? When is enough, enough to leave? All shields end up breaking in time and I haven't taken very good care of mine. If you could forgive everything I know you would, but I don't think you can. The hardest things to heal are the things caused by the ones you love most and I know I've done a lot of damage, but how could I not hurt someone so close to me when I'm busy hurting myself?
... This is stupid. I don''t know why I'm bothering with it. Writing is just a pain like everything else. Impossible anymore. It all all sounds retarded to me anyway. I just spent the last hour forcing myself to get all that out and it was pointless. Why bother saying crap like that? It's not like it matters to anyone or like anyone will ever get it. Just pointless.
Eh.
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