Rambling Stuff

I've been trying to figure out what to write for the last hour and I can't seem to grasp a hold of anything. So perhaps I'll just ramble. Everything I begin writing falls apart, because I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling. Honestly, I just want to push everybody away from me. I'm so tired.. So very, very tired.. No, not sleepy. I'm just tired of caring. I don't want to care anymore. This is the hardest time I've ever had trying to pretend I'm happy. I suppose after so long of doing it, it's becoming too much. Oh, don't worry, I'll get over it. I always do, but right now, this feeling or lack of feeling is quite strong. I'm drifting between numb and utterly depressed. Oh, and to top it off I've been insulted by utter human indecency. -.- I'd really, really appreciate it if people would stop asking me for "pics" It's disgusting and pisses me off.. Anyway.. I'm really quite fine I suppose. I can't quite say. I guess I'm still waiting.. Waiting for what exactly? It's really sad when there's only one person you want to talk to and you can't. Of course, it's not like I can ever think of these things when it gets to the point I can talk.. What do I want to talk about? Life. Dreams. Death. Anger. Love. Paranoia. Pain. Abuse. Beauty. Friendship. Paranormal. Everything basically. On a side note n.nS I feel emotionally self-destructive, but that won't stop me ^-^ Nothing will ever stop me from smiling and being happy. Why? Because there isn't a single person or thing that has the right to take that from me without me giving it willingly. I don't care how many times I get pushed down.. I'm always going to get back up.. I'm always going to be here.. Waiting.. Just.. waiting..