Again

I did it again, like every time before. I've torn open a new wound and I can't help but wonder now, how many are actually from me? To say I'm sorry sounds so cliche and without meaning anymore. I guess you were right, like every time before, my dream really is a foolish and impossible one. How could I ever be an angel when I can't even be a shield? No, I suppose I've always been more like a double edged sword. Keeping away other pain just to create my own. I think I would be pretty satisfied with simply being a ghost and watch rather then being a part of anything. I've debated and struggled a lot with my own inner conflicts, but the line is beginning to blur and I'm not seeing so much of a difference anymore. Maybe I should have confided, but it seems so much more personal then the other things I mention. It would be so easy to lay back and let the demons take reign, but if this is what you think now, I can only imagine what you'd think then.