Distrust

For years all I've heard from people is that somebody is saying this or that behind my back and that this person isn't really my friend or that person is using me or lying to me.. and then I hear from people who are supposedly friends that I'm selfish, neglectful, inconsiderate. I never really let it get to me, because I figured it didn't matter as long as I could try and help them, because everyone needs a friend, right? But now, I'm just too tired of acting like it doesn't matter, because it does. It hurts. And now I just don't trust anyone. I don't want them near me. I don't want them knowing me or trying to learn about me. It's all stuff they can just use against me.